Here I sit- watching all my favorite Monday shows (It is such a good TV night!! Gossip Girl *i'll admit it*, Dancing with the Stars, Castle) and thinking how all I should be doing is prepping for the interview I have tomorrow. I don't know who decided that interviews should be intense, but I am pretty sure that I am not a fan of such person. I must be honest and say that I have not had an interview in 4 years. I was blessed to find a job straight out of college, so I have not had an interview since my first job out of college! And now here I am 4 years later... with an interview tomorrow- and feeling like a fish out of water. Unfortunately I realized that not only is my brain a bit out of it's element- but so is my wardrobe!! I worked in a church for 3 years- in a laid back environment, working with the college ministry. So my college wardrobe, rolled right into my working wardrobe. I'm talking jeans, nice looking t-shirts, mixed with leggings- long t-shirt dresses- you know, college attire. It was great!! But... now, as I am trying to put together an appropriate outfit for an interview tomorrow- I realized that my closet was seriously lacking. I found out I own 1 pair of pants that fit right and could be appropriate for the occasion, and maybe 2 shirts. Yikes. Needless to say I had to make a trip to my teacher, much more mature dressing, sister who was gracious enough to provide me with a full outfit with several options. I am so thankful for her! If it weren't for her- I would have been at Gap scrounging the sale racks to find something that would make me presentable and a desirable candidate. With all that said, as you can tell- it definitely took me 2 plus hours to figure out what I was going to wear to my interview. I really would like to know who decided that you needed to be all fancied up for an interview. Think about it. Teachers are required to wear a full pant-suit sort of thing when they go for an interview, and then if they get hired, do they wear them? no no- they dress nice of course, but a full pant suit- no way! That's how I am feeling- if I get this position, working again with a college ministry- am I going to wear fancy pants and a fancy shirt all the time? Not unless I am seriously required.
Overall, I have decided that interviews are a pretty frightening experience. (This all said before the interview- i'll keep you posted after tomorrow). I'm not quite sure how to prepare- just hoping that the prep I am doing will allow me to be myself as much as possible and keep me from freezing up. That's the best I can hope for right?
I still think my theory - that we should just be born into the position we were designed for, like the good ole family businesses, is a better idea, but who am I to say. Guess I'll just go to my interview, pray for God's guidance- and do the best I can!
Interview attire- is it really necessary?
Monday, April 16, 2012
just a thought
It has been a bit since I have last blogged. I have been somewhat busy, but really my brain has been overloaded. I will take time in the next few days to expand on what's been going on- but for today I just want to share a scripture passage that spoke to my heart. A lot of what's been on my mind has to do with the struggle between fear and faith. It's basically the story of our lives fighting between allowing the fears we have to dominate our thinking, or allowing our faith to be the ruler that guides our life. Without expanding much more right now- this verse in Deuteronomy put me in my place this morning as I think about the fears that plague me.
"Hear, O Israel, today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not be terrified or give way to panic before them. For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory."Good words that I need to let penetrate my heart today.
Monday, April 2, 2012
In my Bible reading this morning, Moses is talking to the Israelites about Passover, Feast of Weeks, and Feast of the Tabernacles. Several times he mentions that they must give a "freewill offering in proportion to the blessings the Lord your God has given you." What an interesting statement. It jumped out at me the first time I read it, but then I continued reading in the passage and he says it again..."Each of you must bring a gift in proportion to the way the Lord your God has blessed you" (Deuteronomy 16:17). This verse has got me thinking this afternoon, wondering how bad am I at keeping track of or being really aware of the blessings God has given me?
The last time I got together with my old bible study group, we talked about the positive impact practicing thankfulness or positive thinking can have on your outlook on life. When I was in college, I took a one credit, once a week course called Positive Psychology. The purpose of the class was to explore the effect of thinking positively. It was a really interesting, laid back class. One of the assignments for the week was to, for every day of the week, write down 25 positive things that happened that day. It could be anything. "The sun is shining." "I had lucky charms for breakfast." Anything that you viewed as positive. The purpose was to help us think about all the positive things that filled each day- emphasizing that although we sometimes find it hard to believe, there is much positive in each of our daily lives. If I remember correctly, the professor who taught the class had written a book or done a big study about Positive Psychology and the class was an experiment because it was the first time he had studied it in class-format. I honestly don't remember what the goal of the class was, or what projects we had to do or anything like that, other than the overall emphasis on the idea that thinking positively can in fact positively affect you. Go figure. Sounds so simple.
But I remember LOVING that class, and LOVING those activities that we had to do because it really made me appreciate the little things that God had been blessing me with throughout each day. Maybe I appreciated it a little more as a believer because I was able to use it almost as a journal/prayer time where I took the opportunity to really thank God for even the little things he blessed me with? I don't know. Either way, it was a good experience.
With all of that said, going back to my bible study get-together... most of us decided that we too wanted to join the others in thinking more positively, being proactive about being thankful basically. The verses that I read this morning really convicted me of the fact that I have not been very good at this lately. Think about the verse. It says, "Each of you must bring a gift in proportion to the way the Lord your God has blessed you." I think that verse is incredibly convicting because it makes me ask myself the question, have I been aware of all the blessings God has given me, taken good note of them, been thankful for them- kept track of them enough to know what kind of goodwill offering would be in proportion? Maybe I am reading into the verse too much, and maybe he didn't mean literally bring a gift that matches in one way or another the blessings you have been given. But regardless, I know that I need to be way more aware and way more thankful for the daily blessings that the Lord has given me. Sometimes I realize that I have not expressed thanks for what He has given me and I become ashamed because it's such a selfish, human thing to do. We are blessed in SO many ways. I am in a really good place in life- I have food on the table, I have a warm home, a loving family, and friends. And this just scratches the surface of what I have to be thankful for. Perhaps it's about time I got out a notebook and went back to the daily assignment I had from Positive Psychology. I know that there are definitely so many blessings to be thankful for.
The last time I got together with my old bible study group, we talked about the positive impact practicing thankfulness or positive thinking can have on your outlook on life. When I was in college, I took a one credit, once a week course called Positive Psychology. The purpose of the class was to explore the effect of thinking positively. It was a really interesting, laid back class. One of the assignments for the week was to, for every day of the week, write down 25 positive things that happened that day. It could be anything. "The sun is shining." "I had lucky charms for breakfast." Anything that you viewed as positive. The purpose was to help us think about all the positive things that filled each day- emphasizing that although we sometimes find it hard to believe, there is much positive in each of our daily lives. If I remember correctly, the professor who taught the class had written a book or done a big study about Positive Psychology and the class was an experiment because it was the first time he had studied it in class-format. I honestly don't remember what the goal of the class was, or what projects we had to do or anything like that, other than the overall emphasis on the idea that thinking positively can in fact positively affect you. Go figure. Sounds so simple.
But I remember LOVING that class, and LOVING those activities that we had to do because it really made me appreciate the little things that God had been blessing me with throughout each day. Maybe I appreciated it a little more as a believer because I was able to use it almost as a journal/prayer time where I took the opportunity to really thank God for even the little things he blessed me with? I don't know. Either way, it was a good experience.
With all of that said, going back to my bible study get-together... most of us decided that we too wanted to join the others in thinking more positively, being proactive about being thankful basically. The verses that I read this morning really convicted me of the fact that I have not been very good at this lately. Think about the verse. It says, "Each of you must bring a gift in proportion to the way the Lord your God has blessed you." I think that verse is incredibly convicting because it makes me ask myself the question, have I been aware of all the blessings God has given me, taken good note of them, been thankful for them- kept track of them enough to know what kind of goodwill offering would be in proportion? Maybe I am reading into the verse too much, and maybe he didn't mean literally bring a gift that matches in one way or another the blessings you have been given. But regardless, I know that I need to be way more aware and way more thankful for the daily blessings that the Lord has given me. Sometimes I realize that I have not expressed thanks for what He has given me and I become ashamed because it's such a selfish, human thing to do. We are blessed in SO many ways. I am in a really good place in life- I have food on the table, I have a warm home, a loving family, and friends. And this just scratches the surface of what I have to be thankful for. Perhaps it's about time I got out a notebook and went back to the daily assignment I had from Positive Psychology. I know that there are definitely so many blessings to be thankful for.
Craft time
Today, as my husband was doing some work in his dining room turned temporary office, I decided that I was in the mood to be a bit crafty. I am a big crochet fan and so I thought perhaps I would do a little crocheting this afternoon. We have quite a few weddings to go to this summer which means bridal showers, gifts- all that jazz. One of the gifts that I received from my mother-in-law was a pack of crocheted dishcloths. I had never used them before, and now I must say I AM A HUGE FAN. They are my "go-to" rags; I love them! This Christmas I made my sister a blanket (it was quite a project, that I was very proud of- perhaps I'll post a pic sometime in the future) and have a fair amount of leftover yarn, so I thought why not make some crocheted dishcloths for the bridal showers I have coming up!? That way not only do I get to share my love for these great cloths, but I also get to give them something from the heart (I mean I'm making them with my own hands!). So here's what I did this afternoon.
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| Final Product Version #1: no edging |
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| Final Product Version #2: with edging |
There we have it! I am still debating whether I like the edging? I might do an edging in the same color as the rag versus the different color just because it would make it a bit more uniform. Not quite sure yet. Overall, such a great, easy project for a crafty feeling afternoon.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Totally feeling God's faithfulness in action today. Not sure what's coming, but know that it is good and that He is faithful.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook.
Sometimes I think it's great. It's a great way to stay in touch with people from college, with friends who live in another country, and a way to reconnect with long lost friends. It's fun to see what people are up to, to post pictures of special events, to create an event to get people together; it's definitely a boredom filler.
But is it really a good or healthy thing? Stalking people (not in a full blown creepy way- just the typical Facebook way) by looking at pictures of friends you aren't even connected with anymore... that is really what a lot of people do on Facebook isn't it? I know I am guilty! Especially now that I have an iPhone. If I'm bored, or sitting waiting for someone to meet me at a coffee shop, why not fill the time checking out the News Feed on Facebook? But really- WHY? Half of the people's pictures that I am looking at, I haven't talked to in years. Some of them I really have never talked to- I don't really know why I am even connected with them.
With my frustration against Facebook today- it is really easy for me to see all the negative impacts that it could have on people's lives. At this point, I should probably admit that there was a dumb incident that is the reason for this rant against Facebook... it frustrates me to even mention it because it makes me realize the impact that I have allowed a social-network to have on me. Long story short- I realized that someone had de-friended me.
Sometimes I think it's great. It's a great way to stay in touch with people from college, with friends who live in another country, and a way to reconnect with long lost friends. It's fun to see what people are up to, to post pictures of special events, to create an event to get people together; it's definitely a boredom filler.
But is it really a good or healthy thing? Stalking people (not in a full blown creepy way- just the typical Facebook way) by looking at pictures of friends you aren't even connected with anymore... that is really what a lot of people do on Facebook isn't it? I know I am guilty! Especially now that I have an iPhone. If I'm bored, or sitting waiting for someone to meet me at a coffee shop, why not fill the time checking out the News Feed on Facebook? But really- WHY? Half of the people's pictures that I am looking at, I haven't talked to in years. Some of them I really have never talked to- I don't really know why I am even connected with them.
With my frustration against Facebook today- it is really easy for me to see all the negative impacts that it could have on people's lives. At this point, I should probably admit that there was a dumb incident that is the reason for this rant against Facebook... it frustrates me to even mention it because it makes me realize the impact that I have allowed a social-network to have on me. Long story short- I realized that someone had de-friended me.
[Honestly- I don't even know why it bothers me. We were never really actual friends. She always had some strange issue with me, I could never figure it out. It was a high school thing; even some of my girl friends knew that she didn't like me. I tried to just shrug it off, realize that not everyone in life is going to be my number one fan and let it go. But I'm a person with feelings, so of course it still didn't feel nice.]
Going back to Facebook- this whole dumb incident made me think about the negative effects that this social network can have on people. I would be really interested to know if there is a statistic about how Facebook affects depression or body image or self esteem. I can only imagine that each of these would be affected negatively right? You see all these pictures of beautiful people online, doesn't it make you wish that you looked like that? Or had that specific outfit. What if you friend request someone and they don't accept? Or you ask someone to hang out, they say they can't and then you realize they were hanging out with other people? How about middle schoolers, or teenagers who are so affected by peer pressure or what their friends do. This cannot be a healthy thing for them can it? You can basically see what everyone else is doing, which means you can see what you're left out from- who is "not your friend", what boys are giving what girls more attention... and so on.
I am doing a body image seminar with a friend for a middle school ministry at a church next weekend, and thinking about that seminar and this dumb situation with Facebook just made me think that there's got to be some link to people having skewed body images, or self esteem as a result of this website. I consider myself a pretty secure, confident person- I am happy with who I am physically, I have great friends, feel like I'm pretty nice (I'm human, I can be mean too) and overall I'm in pretty good spirits. If a dumb "de-friending" situation can cause me to be shaken a bit, feeling a little dejected, a bit unloved and questioning why this "friend" has chosen to "end our relationship"- then how significantly does this affect an insecure, unstable, young girl who is still trying to figure out who she is and very much affected by what people think of her??
I know I can't fix this problem. And I know that not everything is bad about Facebook. Does it mean I am going to jump ship and close my account? Honestly, probably not. But does it make me second guess the benefits of the site, and the role I allow it to have in my daily life? Absolutely. I can control how I much I am impacted by it, by limiting how much I go on, or how much I let myself become caught up in it, or obsessed with seeing what other people are doing. I just hope that others can do the same, that they can find their identity and security in who they really are and not let a social-network tell them otherwise.
Going back to Facebook- this whole dumb incident made me think about the negative effects that this social network can have on people. I would be really interested to know if there is a statistic about how Facebook affects depression or body image or self esteem. I can only imagine that each of these would be affected negatively right? You see all these pictures of beautiful people online, doesn't it make you wish that you looked like that? Or had that specific outfit. What if you friend request someone and they don't accept? Or you ask someone to hang out, they say they can't and then you realize they were hanging out with other people? How about middle schoolers, or teenagers who are so affected by peer pressure or what their friends do. This cannot be a healthy thing for them can it? You can basically see what everyone else is doing, which means you can see what you're left out from- who is "not your friend", what boys are giving what girls more attention... and so on.
I am doing a body image seminar with a friend for a middle school ministry at a church next weekend, and thinking about that seminar and this dumb situation with Facebook just made me think that there's got to be some link to people having skewed body images, or self esteem as a result of this website. I consider myself a pretty secure, confident person- I am happy with who I am physically, I have great friends, feel like I'm pretty nice (I'm human, I can be mean too) and overall I'm in pretty good spirits. If a dumb "de-friending" situation can cause me to be shaken a bit, feeling a little dejected, a bit unloved and questioning why this "friend" has chosen to "end our relationship"- then how significantly does this affect an insecure, unstable, young girl who is still trying to figure out who she is and very much affected by what people think of her??
I know I can't fix this problem. And I know that not everything is bad about Facebook. Does it mean I am going to jump ship and close my account? Honestly, probably not. But does it make me second guess the benefits of the site, and the role I allow it to have in my daily life? Absolutely. I can control how I much I am impacted by it, by limiting how much I go on, or how much I let myself become caught up in it, or obsessed with seeing what other people are doing. I just hope that others can do the same, that they can find their identity and security in who they really are and not let a social-network tell them otherwise.
Friday, March 23, 2012
I am in an interesting place right now in life. I feel like I say that over and over again on this blog- but it's where I am so- yeah. Right now I am finding myself in a predicament that I just can't seem to figure out. Here's the scoop: I am unemployed- used to work at a church with the college ministry. They were restructuring, my position was eliminated. That was 3 months before my wedding. Essentially, it worked out perfectly for wedding planning. I replaced my full-time job with planning full-time for my wedding. It was a HUGE blessing and totally on God's time table, not mine. Now it has been just about 7 months since I have been unemployed, 4 months since the wedding- and I feel like I am JUST wrapping my mind around the idea of figuring my new life out. With all the craziness of the wedding, holidays, adjusting to living with a boy, being a married woman, all those things- I feel like I am just now processing the loss of my beloved job and trying to figure out where I am headed. My head seems to be finally clearing in some ways, but I am still not sure what the picture is that lies ahead of me.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately- and have been more hopeful that I am on the brink of a revelation or that God is working to help me figure out my next steps. I am excited about this, but cautious because I still don't know where I am going. That's the hard thing about being faithful. Isn't it our job to just keep plodding forward, honoring God as we go, even if we don't know where we are going? That's tricky. I know that I love working with people- I miss interacting with college students and people at the church on a daily basis. Being able to process a bit more, I have a better understanding of what I did really enjoy and feel like I can put my finger on what type of job I am looking for at this point. And that's what brings us to my Job Picky-ness dilemma.
I have been presented with an opportunity to take a temp job working for my dad's company. His assistant/secretary is going on maternity leave- and my dad has offered for me to take the position. Practically, this is a really awesome option. I am familiar with the company- have filled in for her once before (just for a week, barely even worth mentioning, but still...) and would have the confidence of knowing that if I need help- it's my dad, so he'll help me figure things out. That's all awesome... BUT- it's SO not the kind of job that I would pick out for myself. Nothing against the position itself- it is a great job- I admire the work that my dad does, he is great at it. But I am just not a "sit in the office, 8:00-5:00, emails, phone calls, barely any person-to-person interaction (besides my dad and his partner when they happen to actually be in the office, not at meetings or calls)" sort of person. Could I handle the job? Absolutely. I'd like to think that I can handle anything that is put in front of me, with a little training and determination. So what is holding me back? It's temporary- it's not like I'm signing up for a life sentence of working somewhere that doesn't necessarily roll my socks up and down...
I have been trying to pinpoint what it is that is holding me back- and I this is the best that I can come up with. I have really high expectations for myself- I want to be doing something that really fits ME and who I am and who God has called me to be. I feel like I haven't quite found where He wants me to be- and so I have been waiting. Well if I take this position- won't it be putting my "waiting" on hold? Will it be interfering with continuing to pursue the thoughts of- okay God what do you want me to do? If I take this job- it will be putting everything else on hold until August when I am finished with it. Am I okay with this? I feel like I am finally making progress in figuring out what God is putting on my heart, potentially what I am being called to do next- and now I am thinking of putting it on hold again? This is what makes me hesitate.
I was talking with a friend about how different our generation is from other generations. My parents age- they seem to take whatever job they can- working towards whatever their dream job might be in the future. Our generation- we seem to wait; to be picky about finding something that truly fits right away from the get-go. We want that perfect fit, dream job from the start. Which is better? I don't know. I think the way our generation does things can work- but it can't just be waiting in the sense of, "ugh i can't figure it out, I'm just gonna do nothing till something lands in my lap." It has to be proactive waiting- being intentional about finding what's right- looking for new opportunities. Being faithful, plodding forward- even when the way is unclear.
So my big question is- what does plodding forward look like for me right now? I know I don't know the end picture, and I am content with that (for the moment). But is plodding forward for me supposed to be continuing to proactively wait for what seems to be the right fit? Or do I take the opportunity that is being handed to me and hope that revelation happens in the midst of this temporary position. Decision-making is hard. It is definitely something I struggle with. Maybe I strive too hard to make the perfect decision, when really I just need to keep walking, look for the open doors, and avoid the ones that are closed. Until the picture becomes clear- I will just keep moving forward waiting for a little bird to land on my shoulder and tell me what to do. That works right?
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately- and have been more hopeful that I am on the brink of a revelation or that God is working to help me figure out my next steps. I am excited about this, but cautious because I still don't know where I am going. That's the hard thing about being faithful. Isn't it our job to just keep plodding forward, honoring God as we go, even if we don't know where we are going? That's tricky. I know that I love working with people- I miss interacting with college students and people at the church on a daily basis. Being able to process a bit more, I have a better understanding of what I did really enjoy and feel like I can put my finger on what type of job I am looking for at this point. And that's what brings us to my Job Picky-ness dilemma.
I have been presented with an opportunity to take a temp job working for my dad's company. His assistant/secretary is going on maternity leave- and my dad has offered for me to take the position. Practically, this is a really awesome option. I am familiar with the company- have filled in for her once before (just for a week, barely even worth mentioning, but still...) and would have the confidence of knowing that if I need help- it's my dad, so he'll help me figure things out. That's all awesome... BUT- it's SO not the kind of job that I would pick out for myself. Nothing against the position itself- it is a great job- I admire the work that my dad does, he is great at it. But I am just not a "sit in the office, 8:00-5:00, emails, phone calls, barely any person-to-person interaction (besides my dad and his partner when they happen to actually be in the office, not at meetings or calls)" sort of person. Could I handle the job? Absolutely. I'd like to think that I can handle anything that is put in front of me, with a little training and determination. So what is holding me back? It's temporary- it's not like I'm signing up for a life sentence of working somewhere that doesn't necessarily roll my socks up and down...
I have been trying to pinpoint what it is that is holding me back- and I this is the best that I can come up with. I have really high expectations for myself- I want to be doing something that really fits ME and who I am and who God has called me to be. I feel like I haven't quite found where He wants me to be- and so I have been waiting. Well if I take this position- won't it be putting my "waiting" on hold? Will it be interfering with continuing to pursue the thoughts of- okay God what do you want me to do? If I take this job- it will be putting everything else on hold until August when I am finished with it. Am I okay with this? I feel like I am finally making progress in figuring out what God is putting on my heart, potentially what I am being called to do next- and now I am thinking of putting it on hold again? This is what makes me hesitate.
I was talking with a friend about how different our generation is from other generations. My parents age- they seem to take whatever job they can- working towards whatever their dream job might be in the future. Our generation- we seem to wait; to be picky about finding something that truly fits right away from the get-go. We want that perfect fit, dream job from the start. Which is better? I don't know. I think the way our generation does things can work- but it can't just be waiting in the sense of, "ugh i can't figure it out, I'm just gonna do nothing till something lands in my lap." It has to be proactive waiting- being intentional about finding what's right- looking for new opportunities. Being faithful, plodding forward- even when the way is unclear.
So my big question is- what does plodding forward look like for me right now? I know I don't know the end picture, and I am content with that (for the moment). But is plodding forward for me supposed to be continuing to proactively wait for what seems to be the right fit? Or do I take the opportunity that is being handed to me and hope that revelation happens in the midst of this temporary position. Decision-making is hard. It is definitely something I struggle with. Maybe I strive too hard to make the perfect decision, when really I just need to keep walking, look for the open doors, and avoid the ones that are closed. Until the picture becomes clear- I will just keep moving forward waiting for a little bird to land on my shoulder and tell me what to do. That works right?
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