Just like every little girl, (yup, that's me- on the left, with my lovely sister) I used to dream about what I wanted to be "when I grew up."  At one point, all I could dream about was being a waitress or a cashier.  Many hours were spent in the basement at my childhood home, where my sister and I took turns being the customer while the other spotlighted the much coveted role as waitress, grocery store cashier, or even as Dairy Queen employee.  Since then, these dreams have faded into the background- just a fun memory gone by.  I never became a waitress.  I never worked at Dairy Queen.  I did work at a Christian bookstore for 3 years where I got to enjoy the pleasure of ringing people up on the cash register.  So I guess you can check cashier off my list. woohoo!  But there are a few dreams that I remember stating often when asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" that still ring true as ever- that I'm still pursuing as I work towards this whole growing up thing.

One of those dreams was, I always wanted to be a writer.  In fact I used to imagine myself working for a Christian magazine, writing articles, doing interviews, and maybe even one day being the editor.  That and, I always told myself I would write a book someday.  [I guess in some ways you can check that off the list- my Christmas present one year was one of those awesome projects where you got to be author and illustrator, and at the end you sent it in and received a hard-cover copy of your very own book!  This was pretty darn cool, I must admit.]  As I went through high school and the beginning of college, my passion for writing continued.  I loved writing papers, took a few journalism classes and wrote for the Ripon College newspaper, called College Days.  (Check em out - here, here, and here.  They're kind-of entertaining, hah.)  But somewhere after Sophomore year, I veered away from this passion and pursued a major in Religion and a minor in French.  Super random combo right?  Although I don't regret that choice of focus at all, (it led me to my beloved job working with the college ministry at Elmbrook Church) it has been since getting married and joining the blogging world that this passion for writing has been re-ignited.

The long and short of it is- I've realized that I'm not quite ready to let go of my childhood dream.  Wanting to be a writer is still very present in my heart.

In fact, I'm excited to share that I've actually made a step in continuing and pursuing my passion for writing.  Yesterday, I made my debut as a contributor for a website called Circle of Friends that serves to reach and encourage women in their walk with the Lord.  Through this website, many different authors write devotionals or blog posts, sharing what God's doing in their lives and encouraging the many women who frequent the page.  I am so excited to have been given an opportunity to be one of these contributing authors and share my heart by writing a blog post twice a month.  [Here's my first post .  Tag along on this new adventure, if you'd like!]  I'm glad to be a part of this mission, and look forward to what God has in store.

So I guess you can consider that 'Step 1' in pursuing one of my dreams.  I have no idea if I'll ever reach the point of getting a book published, but I have every intent of continuing to dream and moving forward with hope.

Is there a dream that is heavy on your heart?  Maybe you, too, should consider going for it!  Even though we may be somewhat "grown up", no one said we had to stop dreaming.

xoxo

I must admit that I have a major crush on succulents.  Okay, maybe that's putting it lightly.  I'm actually quite in love with them really.  I'm not sure where I first saw them or how our love affair began, but I think that they are so so lovely.  They seem to be all over Instagram lately, and I can't help but 'like' every picture that I come across with succulents.  With that said, I'd like to introduce you to my three little babies.  

I first met these guys about a year ago at my neighborhood Steins.  And let me tell you, it was love at first sight.  I went in thinking that I was going to buy just one, and walked out with three because they were just too cute.  But my love for succulents goes deeper than just looks...they are so easy to manage.  A little bit of water (about once every two weeks in the winter and once a week in summer) and a lot of sunlight gives these sweet plants just what they need to grow.

Being that I live in Wisconsin, my plants have to live inside in the winter and soak up as much sun as they can through the window.  And what I've noticed over the past few weeks is how much they really need the sun.  I started to notice that instead of their leaves growing up towards the sun, they were starting to droop down towards their sides.  At first I thought maybe they needed more water (I'm no botanist) so I tried that.  When that didn't work I started to think about their need for sun.  Here in good ole Wisconsin, it has been a LONG winter.  Now that the sun is finally making an appearance more often, I decided to test out my theory, and move the plants out on our tiny porch where they can soak up a lot more sun.  In just a few days of bright sunlight, they are already picking up their droopy little arms and reaching up towards the sunlight.  I seriously love this.  Maybe I sound a little crazy but it really brings me joy!! 

What's crazy to me is that these plants, they seem to just know that they need the light to grow.  They know it so well that if they feel the light, they literally turn their little heads, leaning or growing towards the direction of the sun! And this is where I feel that I've been schooled by my succulents.  

Just as the succulents need the sunlight to grow, I know that I need God's wisdom, His Word, His involvement in my life, in order to grow and to be transformed into the creation that He created me to be.  Knowing this, I want to follow in the example of my succulents.  I need to be really intentional about leaning towards the light.  To seek my heavenly Father more and more, trusting that He can provide exactly what I need to make me grow.  

So, thank you, little succulents for setting such a great example and making me appreciate the sun (and the Son) even more.   

 

Images by me :)  Thanks to my sweet grandpa and my lovely new Canon T4i.

Here I am, two days later, and I am still a little overwhelmed by how blessed and truly celebrated I felt on my birthday.  As I shared in a post about a huge birthday balloon for my sister, birthdays have always been kind-of a big thing in our family.  We try to make them special for each person and make sure they know how much we love them and how special they are to us.  It's actually quite awesome and I'm so blessed to have grown up this way.  Someone recently commented on how birthdays after you turn 21 just don't have a lot to them- how turning the big 27 is really just me reaching my late twenties.  I shrugged, and somewhat agreed, I guess.  But now that my 27th birthday has come and gone, I can honestly say that it is up there on the "most special birthday" list.

Waking up in the morning I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes just enough to give my husband a kiss and receive a few cheerful "happy birthdays" before he went out the door.  Shortly thereafter, I was forced to jump out of bed as the doorbell rang and a beautiful bouquet of flowers arrived from my sweet man.  Taking my flowers into the kitchen I was greeted by a funny card with a love-filled message on the back.  Not even an hour into my day and I was already feeling the love.  I quickly hopped in the shower, threw on a sundress (thank you God for giving me a sunny day) and went out the door to my next birthday event.  Sitting out on the patio, soaking up the much-missed sunshine, (even to the extent of a little sunburn, oops) my super-cute friend, Tara, treated me to mimosas, a yummy breakfast, and a morning birthday sundae at the tasty Cafe Hollander.

Full, on my just-eaten breakfast, I wasn't so sure how I was going to digest quickly enough to make room for the lunch I was supposed to have with my mom in the next 40 minutes.  I went home to sit for a bit, only to find a little package waiting at my door. Another one of my friends, Alexa, had driven 45 minutes to drop a little something off for me!  At this point, I was thinking that this day couldn't get any better.  And then the doorbell rang...

I was expecting to see my cute little mother's face when I opened the door, but was quite surprised to be greeted with a Minnie Mouse balloon that was almost my size!  With a big smile on my face and a little chuckle I opened the door to see my mom AND MY SISTER hiding around the corner.  The caps are most definitely important here, because my sister is a teacher and it is not often that she is able to take time off work.  In fact, she gets 1 personal day for the whole year.  My amazing sister took half of that 1 day, to spend with and celebrate me.  Oof- I cannot even explain how overwhelmed and how special I felt from this enormous gesture along-with the special coordination my mom pulled off to make it happen.  And that wasn't it; the day continued to get better and better as they surprised me with a birthday lunch followed by pedicures!!  We wrapped up the day by heading to my parents house where my sweet pops grilled up some shiskabobs.  We ate together, shared a lot of laughter, some birthday cake and they continued to spoil me with some gifties.  On our way home, I couldn't help but get a little teary in the car as I thought about how truly amazing my birthday had been.  I was so overwhelmed and overjoyed by how much love I had experienced.

The reason I am sharing this is not to rub it in your face or stick my nose up in the air and say "look at what I did, aren't I special?"  I wanted to share this with you because it made me realize the impact that really being shown love in a tangible, physical presence sort of way, makes on our lives.  I don't know about you, but I want to experience love like this everyday!  What's crazy is, that's how God loves us- in a way that is overwhelming, that is all about blessings and encouragement and support amidst whatever trials we are facing in this world.  He created us to desire, receive, and be givers of this crazy love.

One of my dear friends called me a "specializer" yesterday.  She said that I am really good at making people feel special and celebrated, and that she was so excited to hear that I experienced being "specialized" on my birthday.  I was really honored and humbled that she labeled me in that way.  Thinking more about it, I think we are all created to be "specializers"- to make others feel loved and celebrated, and not just on our birthdays.

I am so thankful for everyone who made an impact on my day (and my life) by showing me crazy love.  I hope that I can continue to grow in my role as a "specializer" and make more and more people's days by showing them overwhelming love.

xo

P.S. Thanks to everyone else who sent me love on my special day too!  And a shout out to my Iron Man 3 watching, tattoo-bearing friends. :)

Yesterday as the UPS truck pulled up, I couldn't help but book it down the stairs to meet the beautiful brown box labeled B&H Photography with my name on it.  But before I tell you about the joyful, early birthday goodies that were inside, I have to give you a brief backstory and a much deserved shout out.

Not only do I have the cutest, but I also have the sweetest grandpa in the whole world.  I mean, check it out- isn't he adorbs? [This pic is from his birthday in March.]

I, along with the 3 other grandkids, have been so blessed (maybe we better call it, spoiled) by him over the years that I cannot begin to express the gratitude that I have for him.  As we've gotten older and grown out of the "I want 10,000 toys and candy and presents" phase, we keep telling him that we don't want him to spend money on us.  And yet, the stubborn and sweet man that he is, he continues to bless us over and again with his generosity.  Which leads me to the brown box...

For a couple years now, I've been thinking about how someday I would like to learn more about photography.  I took a couple classes back in the good ole highschool days, where it was all film photography and we got to use the darkroom and everything. It was fantastic; I loved it.  But over the years, I just haven't really done much with it.  I have a point and shoot camera, but let's be honest I've been using my iPhone and Instagram a lot more than anything else.

I think it was researching wedding photographers and receiving our beautiful photos by the lovely Marissa Maharaj and continuing to gawk at her photos along with others like Meghan Klein, that really inspired me to think, I want to take cool photos someday too.  I'm pretty sure I won't ever come close to being as fabulous as either of these two, but one can hope and aspire right?

With all that said, my grandpa loves loves loves when we actually have an idea to give him for our birthday.  Usually we say, well I don't need anything, I don't know- and he gives us money or gift cards or something... but this year I did my research, asked a lot of questions and found a great deal via B&H Photography that I pointed my Grandpa towards as an idea.  Two weeks later, and 5 days before my actual birthday I received this beautiful package featuring a Canon Rebel T4i, lens, and all sorts of other goodies (image above).  I am such a lucky, blessed little lady.  I called my g-pa immediately and told him how thankful and ecstatic I am about the oh-so-generous gift that he gave me.

I have no idea what I am getting myself into.  I have A LOT to learn.  But I am so excited about it.  And so so so blessed to have been given the opportunity by my loving Grandpa.

So cheers to loving grandparents, and all things birthday!
xo


Check out the stellar birthday party I had last year.

I'm excited to be sharing this post today because it is something I have been sitting on for awhile.  A couple months ago I decided to take the jump and explore developing my blog more.  Since then, I've been taking a blog course called Blog Love (which I talked more about here), I finally landed on re-naming my blog loveMin, I've thought a lot about what I want my blog to be, what I don't want it to be, and in the near future I'll be working on giving it a face-lift. 

With this in mind, I decided that it might be fun to have a few photos of myself to use for my blog.  One thing that you should know about me is that once I get an idea in my head, it's hard to put it on the back burner.  If at all possible, I love to put a plan into action ASAP.  It was seriously my lucky day when I texted my friend (who happens to take lovely photos) asking her if she'd like to help me with a random little project, and she said "Sure! I can be free in an hour!"  It was fantastic! 

In less than an hour and a half I went from brainstorming this idea to cleaning myself up, throwing on a bright red lip, a photo-ready outfit, and running out the door in my favorite shoes to begin a little photo shoot fun.  I'd spotted a lovely cream city break wall with some bright red hearts right on the corner of a street in my town that seemed like a perfect location.  I mustered up all the inner confidence that I could and posed on the street corner as cars whizzed by- in hopes of capturing just a few lovely, artsy pics.  

After snapping a few pics on the wall of hearts, and staying as warm as possible (don't be tricked by the sleeveless dress, it was freezing outside), we decided to trek to one of my favorite local spots- The Ruby Tap.  On a normal visit, we grab a glass and make several trips to the self-service wine machines and maybe even some cheese to go along with it.  But this time, we grabbed a glass of wine and snapped a few more photos.  It has such a cozy, yet swanky/chic environment that it was a perfect spot to capture a few more shots.  [One of my favorites at Ruby Tap, is the image below on the left.]  

A few hours later we decided to wrap it up and head on home.  It was a blast and a great first experience of capturing some cool photos for the blog.  This is one area that I am hoping to improve on in the future- I'm even working my way towards getting my very own DSLR camera!!  But for now, I am so so thankful for my sweet friend Melissa who was willing to take these photos for me.  She was great! (Be sure to swing on by her blog The Hungry Milwaukeeian where she takes lovely pics of her culinary adventures in Milwaukee.)

I'm really happy with how these turned out, and excited to finally share some of them with you.  I look forward to incorporating these images and capturing more as I continue working on developing my blog space.  I have a lot of ideas in mind and a lot, a lot to learn.  Thanks for sticking with me as I continue to share both my joys and my struggles; I can't wait to see what God has in store for this adventure.  

xo

[Images by Melissa Yates]

Image/design by Liz Carver via Hipster Scripture

Do you ever feel like your life is a battlefield?  No I don't mean like in the 80's song Love is a battlefield (and yet what a great jam)!  What I mean is, do you ever feel like you are trying to fight off some sort of heaviness, some sort of icky feeling, some sort of insecurity, or some form of "darkness"?  Like, no matter how hard you try to stay in a positive, good, joyful mood there seems to be this other force that is trying to bring you down?  Ick. I feel that that has been the story of my week this week.  

The best way I can think of to describe this weird phenomenon that has been taking over my days is like a little dark cloud that very unexpectedly, very unexplainably swoops in over my thoughts, covers over my positive thinking, and leads me to a place of panic.  (Check out my last post Looking for Growth Opportunities  if you want to hear more about what it looks like for me.)  

Unfortunately, this little dark cloud has got me panicked about my upcoming weekend.  There is nothing bad about it, in fact it is supposed to be a fun weekend with friends.  And yet for some odd reason I feel like I have to gear up, put on my armor and figure out how to duke it out against the anxiety that seems to work so hard to defeat me.  

For me, gearing up or preparing for battle looks a lot like grounding myself in the Bible- spending some time with the Lord who brings me peace, loading my mind up with scripture, with encouraging words like, "If God is for us, who can be against us?"  Since I know I am not alone in this icky struggle to battle anxiety, I wanted to share with you what has got me all charged up and ready to fight the fight.

I have been reading in Romans, and today I was reading through Romans 8.  Please check out the rest of it, but in order to keep it brief (ish) I am only going to mention a few verses.  Romans 8:35, 37-39 says:

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  (emphasis added)

Ooh man, I felt like those words were speaking right to my insecurities, right to my efforts to be preparing for battle.  I mean shoot, it even fits in with my imaginary battle with the terminology of more than conquerors.  To be reminded that THERE IS NOTHING that will separate me from the Lord (in whom I find great peace when I'm struggling) and that through His love I am a conqueror - it gives me such great assurance that I can fight this battle.

Overall, what it gives me, is hope.  A hope that through Christ I really will someday be able to claim the victory over this little dark, anxious cloud that tries to steal my joy.  God created me, through his love, to not just be a conqueror, but to be more than a conqueror.  So that's what I'm going to try to be. I will put on my battle mindset, prepare for the ickiness of this world, and put my hope in the promise that Jesus gives us in John 16:33 where he says, "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world!"

Those words have so often, as of late, been my battle cry.  I literally imagine myself carrying some sort of flag, running up a grassy hill, with my chainmail armor on (yeah, picture that) with a very serious, determined face yelling Jesus' promise "I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD!"  

Go ahead, you can laugh or call me crazy... I'm kind of 12 in the way that I really imagine a storylike picture of things in my life sometimes.  But it helps me to visualize the fact that, yeah I am living in a dark world.  There is most definitely trouble.  I have to take action, to take charge to fight off the ickiness, the garbage that threatens to weigh me down.  It is not going to be easy, in fact it most often isn't.  BUT, as I take up this charge for battle, I don't have to worry about whether my hard work will pay off or whether the battle will be won.  It will be won.  Jesus promises me that.  And so this is where I must place my trust, my hope and my confidence as I struggle with anxiety.  In Jesus words that He has overcome, and his loving reminder that through him I can play a mighty role and be more than a conqueror.  

Image by Meghan Klein via Instagram 

One thing that I have learned about myself over the years is that I like the feeling of being in control.  I don't mean in a "I'm the boss all the time" sort of way, more in a planning way.  I'm a planner to a T.  I thrive on being organized.  I'm not obsessively organized (just check out the piles of clothes that have been on my dresser for weeks), but I love the comfort of knowing what's going on, of knowing what to expect.

I didn't realize how important feeling in control really was to me until I've been recently struggling with a bit of anxiety.  On the surface everything is going well in my life.  I have a wonderful husband, great family, I'm in a place of unemployment which I'm actually enjoying because it's given me an opportunity to pursue new things, to explore dreams I never thought I could.  I'm being intentional about choosing joy, about finding fun moments, about planning get-togethers and exciting opportunities.  And yet right in the midst of this joy- I find myself experiencing bouts of anxiety where my heart races, my chest gets tight, my breathing gets shallow, my mind goes into a downward spiral that often involves me feeling like I'm going to be sick or perhaps even die (yeah it's a little ridiculous).  A simple trip to a friend's house has got me worked up thinking "oh dear, what if I have an anxiety attack there?  What if I have to throw up?  What if I get sick and have to excuse myself to go home? What if I have to go to the bathroom and there's nowhere to go?"

I must admit it has been a really big struggle for me. Not feeling in control in these moments (and not understanding where it is coming from or why) has thrown me for a loop.  But this isn't where I want my focus to be...

This morning as I sat at my kitchen table with my potatoes, pancake, bible, and my daily devotional- I was really struck by the reading for today. [The following quotes are taken from (Jesus Calling) a daily devotional by Sarah Young.]

"Many things feel out of control." -- Yup.  Sure do.
"Your routines are not running smoothly." -- I wish they were!
"You tend to feel more secure when your life is predictable." -- Nailed it.  

But besides nailing my emotions on the head, the reading has given me an encouragement in dealing with it.

"When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip My hand tightly and look for growth opportunities.  Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new."

I've basically been doing one half of that equation.  I have definitely been gripping His hand tightly because quite frankly that's all I feel I can do in those moments of panic.  I take a lot of deep breaths, self-talk, think of scripture, pray, and wait for the moment to pass.  But what I haven't been too good at is looking for growth opportunities and accepting the challenge of something new.  

It's so easy to go through life in our routines, trying to stay in our comfort zones.  But what Paul teaches us in 2 Corinthians 3:18 is that our lives are all about transformation.  2 Corinthians 3:18 says, "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."  Each moment, each situation, each struggle is an important part of the process of changing, of becoming more like Christ.

Dealing with this anxiety stuff, this reminder is difficult because it challenges me to consider even this as a growth opportunity.  I am so so thankful that in the moments of anxiousness I can cling to the One who protects me and know that He has overcome the world.  But now, beyond that, I need to think about how I can look at it as a growth opportunity to becoming a better version of myself, to becoming more like Christ.

The image at the top of the page is one from Meghan Klein's Instagram page.  [She was the assistant photographer at my wedding. Be sure to check out her webpage. Her work is lovely.]   With this photo she shared a quote that has been an encouragement and a challenge to me the past few weeks.  And I'd like to leave you with this:

"Enjoy the tempo of a God-breathed life by letting Him set the pace. Hold his hand in trust & the way before you will open up step by step."