When I went to the Humane Society, met this new little guy and felt the tug to take him home, I knew I'd love him, but I did not anticipate that I would grapple with a fear for his life and a call on my heart to entrust him to the Lord.
After adopting Finn and taking him to the vet- we discovered that he is not as healthy as we'd hoped. He has some typical cat struggles like worms and an itchy annoyance of mites, both of which can be taken care of fairly easily. Not a huge deal. But in the process of dealing with these things, we realized there was more going on. Concerned about his breathing rate being high, we went back to the vet to find out that not only does he have fluid in his lungs, but that a fatal disease might be the cause. Cue anxious kitty mother. Anxiety has been a struggle of mine off and on for years, but this was a new experience. I felt like a new mom finding out that her sick baby might not pull through! I know that sounds dramatic, but being responsible for his life, that's kinda what it feels like!
As I've grappled with this concern, had a few tears (yikes) and asked the Lord why He would give us this sweetness if He was just going to take it away in a few weeks, I've felt the pull on my heart to entrust Finn to the Lord. At first this idea seemed a little weird to me as I thought, well he's not a child…he's just a kitty. I found myself wondering whether the Lord really cared about my request as I prayed for Finn's health. After all, I know He has much bigger concerns on His plate. But as I kept praying, I kept feeling that He does care and that He wanted me to entrust Finn to Him. Thinking about this, I was reminded of the following verses.
In Matthew 6 Jesus teaches about the topic of not worrying- one that I must frequent often with my anxious tendencies. In verse 26 he says, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them." And then He goes on to say in verse 28, "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin." Re-reading these verses, I found a new comfort in them as I recognized our loving Father doesn't just care for us, but he provides and cares for every part of his creation!
God created this sweet little kitty, and has entrusted him into my care. While he is with me, I am responsible for giving him a good home, loving him, training him to be a good kitty, feeding him and doing my part in keeping him healthy. But beyond that, it is out of my control. Beyond that, I must entrust him into the Lord's loving care and know that He knows what is best for his creation. (What a good lesson to learn before having kids! ha)
As I sit here and type, and count Finn's breaths as he naps hoping that his breathing continues to improve, this call to entrust him to the Lord is not an easy one. I wish there was something tangible that I could do to ensure that he would get through this. But for now, I'm going to love him like crazy, keep giving him his medicine and pray that the Lord, who cares for my little fur ball of joy, would heal him.
Who knew I'd learn so much through a little kitty?! The Lord sure does work in mysterious ways.
xoxo. meow.
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