One day in early December, an image similar to this one popped up across my Instagram feed from Free People.  Coming across this image, and also seeing several bloggers I follow use this same idea of being full present in our lives with the hashtag #presentDecember, I was challenged to make an adjustment in my life.  Going to Puerto Rico, and spending time with the family over Christmas, I tried really hard to put down the iPhone as much as possible and avoid it's crazy draw to be on social media, and instead focused on being fully present in each moment.  And let me tell you… it was so worth it.  

I thoroughly enjoyed leaving my phone in the other room as I celebrated Christmas with my in-laws, and fighting the urge to check Instagram while playing games and sharing a meal with my family.  It was like embracing a new kind of freedom!  Isn't that nuts?  It took away the distractions keeping me from fully embracing the special moments that I shared with my loved ones.  I am so glad that I made this effort, especially this Christmas, because it was a particularly difficult one, being the first Christmas without my grandpa.  

Losing my grandpa this past September, we all knew that the holiday season would feel weird and sad without him.  Being prepared for this, we made a special effort to spend lots of quality time with each other.  We went to movies, we played games, we shared meals, and had lots and lots of laughs together.  It was SO so great, and a beautiful and tender way to bring healing to our grieving hearts and fill them with joy and laughter.  Experiencing this time with my family, and the benefits of being fully present in each moment, it makes me sad and frustrated to realize how consuming Facebook, Instagram, and sometimes even blogging, can be.  

I am a firm, and hardcore believer in finding balance in life, in knowing when to take a break, relax and just be.  But what I apparently didn't realize was, even if I was taking the time to just sit on my couch and watch a movie or something, very often I was without even thinking, pushing that darn "F" icon on my iPhone to see what the rest of the world was up to.  After taking somewhat of a break and dialing back on the frequency of my social media checking, I've discovered what a blessing it is to give it a rest.  

With that said, this is something I want to work on. 

As far as blogging goes… I fully intend on returning wholeheartedly to my little online space.  God has put blogging on my heart for a reason, and I believe there is great value in living life together with our fellow bloggers and readers, encouraging one another across the web.   But, I also want to grow in my understanding of what balance and rest and being full present looks like in my life.  If that means that I have to take a break from blogging and risk losing my readership because I haven't blogged in over a month (forgive me for doing this!), I hope that you'll bear with me and understand that I have to keep it real and first and foremost, be present in the life that exists outside of the internet.  

I am happy to have made my return, and am really looking forward to growing with you throughout this new year.  Thank you SO much for sticking with me through the ebb and flow that is my blog. 

xoxo 

|| Image above from: Printabledecor.net ||

 

Oh man, I must be honest- keeping my joyful, care-free vacation mindset this week, has been a little bit of a challenge…

I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. I love the lights, the cozy fireplaces, the decorations, the nostalgic Christmas tunes, the time spent with loved ones, the snow that makes it feel even more festive and most importantly the celebration of the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. But I hate the way that during this season the focus can change ever so quickly to frustration and crankiness that is driven by the pressure to get everything done on time, get the decorations up so the house looks just like the Pottery Barn catalog (I wish), and get everyone the perfect gift(s).

The other day, I woke up very ambitious to check a handful of items off my list. I was looking forward to my little plan to finish in a few hours, go home to put up the rest of the decorations, and finish the evening with a glass of wine in hand as I put my feet up under a cozy blanket in attempts of ridding myself of a nasty cold. Let me just say, the day did not go as planned. The 3 stops I planned turned into 6, (not including the 3 trips I made into the same exact store) the "simple" items on my list were nowhere to be found, and my “convenient” order on Amazon turned into a hustle to cancel it in time as I found out it had already been purchased. What I had hoped to be a joy-filled time of gift buying ended with a rapid heart rate and a beer with lunch as I took deep breaths and worked on chilling out because I was just SO FRUSTRATED.

The thing that made me upset was not just the lack of accomplishment, but the fact that my joy was squashed- and I let it own me all day long.  I was so excited about getting caught up in the joy of the season and SPLAT everything went awry and my happiness went out the window.

What really gets me is, I think this is exactly what the evil one would want out of us during the holiday season, (or anytime for that matter). He doesn’t want us to be joyful, to be filled with excitement about spending time with our loved ones and to have time to sit and think about the real reason for the season- the birth of Jesus! He wants us to dwell in that frustration and to let it continue to put a kabosh on the joy that we have been given through Christ.

I don’t want to let this happen!! I’m not giving up on my pursuit of finding freedom and joy in the midst of the crazy! I mean shoot- the Christmas song is Joy to the World is it not? ;) If things go awry with my Christmas shopping, or I can’t get rid of this cold for days (please no) or whatever else pushes my buttons… I want to try really hard to keep the cranks from taking over.  I want joy to be my overwhelming mood, preferably always (hah), but especially during this special season where we celebrate the gift of Jesus.

Wish me luck… ;)  xoxo