A real, scary taste of motherhood

Last week I got a real, scary taste of motherhood.  Before the rumors start circulating, No, I’m not pregnant (unlike everyone else and their mom who seems to have drank the same baby-making water).  Go ahead and call me crazy cat lady, but my scary taste of motherhood has to do with being a kitty mama. Let’s be real, Finn is my baby.  I can already picture my sister reading this and rolling her eyes or faking a “puke in my hands” sort of motion- but really, he is!  We adopted him a year and a half ago and he instantly became a big part of our little family.  He cuddles with me when Chris is busy at work, he greets me at the door (he’s part dog), he brings joy when his tail gets all puffy because I caught him off guard when I came around the corner,  or the way he chases his favorite purple ball and meows when he wants to be picked up- he’s my little furr baby!     

Coming home from bible study last Wednesday with no greeting at the door, and walking in to find him in his bed unable to fully open his eyes or walk without slumping over- I knew something was wrong and I was terrified.  Having just taken him into the vet earlier that day noticing that he was walking a little funny and having been told that it was just an injury from playing too hard (don’t even get me started on the misdiagnosis that plays into this whole scenario), I was completely caught off guard as this shouldn’t have been happening.  Chris walked in the door just a few minutes later (praise God) and found me holding our limp kitty with eyes that couldn’t focus and legs that couldn’t support him.  Trying not to panic, we loaded him into the car and rushed off to the Animal Hospital.    

The vet quickly went into “go mode” telling us that he had a urinary blockage and if he didn’t act fast and determine how bad the situation was, it could become quite serious.  Suddenly I was handed a document with words like “do not resuscitate” or “take any action required” and as soon as it landed in my hand, Chris snatched it out of my hand because he knew I could not handle this.  Tears instantly poured down my face, okay that’s an understatement- I went into sloppy tears and quick, short breath cry-mode, with a very sad attempt to keep it together, as I faced the unfortunate reality that there was a chance I might be going home without a kitty.

Getting home at midnight and waiting anxiously for the vet to call and give us good news, I jokingly said to Chris, “welp, looks like we’re never having kids.”  I was a hot mess.  When the phone rang an hour and a half later, we took a deep breath and prepared ourselves for who knows what news we were about to receive.  As soon as the words “everything went really well” and “this is the best scenario that it could be” came out of the vet’s mouth, tears of joy ran down my cheeks and peace overwhelmed my anxious heart.  

Praise the Lord I can say that God provided for us, and with much thanks to the amazing ER doctor, he saved our kitty.  After staying in the hospital for a few days with a catheter and IV, the staff treated his infection and got him ready to go home with us.  Now having him home for a few days and watching him recover and return to his peppy, loving self, still with a bit of crazy cat mom worries and “is he okay Chris?” moments, I am so so thankful for the Lord’s goodness and faithfulness in this situation. 

I cannot believe how much I learned in the past 7 days.  Not only did I realize how much I love this little creature, but it gave me an insanely real taste for motherhood and a brand new appreciation for parents.  I mean shoot, I can’t even imagine how much of a mess I would be had this been my child?!  Although I was joking when I said, “and now we’re never having kids” – there’s an element of truth that exists in that statement because if I’m being super honest- being a mom terrifies me.  Lord willing, I feel like being a mom is part of my future, but it is going to take an army of prayer warriors, and a giant leap of faith and increase in trust in the Lord to make me ready.

I am a born and raised worry wart- I struggle with anxiety, I struggle with giving my fears to the Lord- it’s something I work on daily, have learned a TON about, but still need to constantly give over to the Lord.  I have learned time and time again that His faithfulness is evident in even the most seemingly insignificant situations; but, I still need to be continually reminded that with every step of my life, whether with kitties or kiddies, my trust MUST be placed in Him in order for me to move forward. 

Although this situation was terrifying, and I don’t care to repeat it, I can wholly say that God’s word is true when it says that He uses every situation for our good.  I’ve mentioned to a few people, usually somewhat kidding, that Finn is good prep for having kids someday; but really, there is no joke about it.  Raising this kitty, loving him through his issues as a kitten and this health scare, I have already learned so much about what is going to be required of me when I become a mother.  I am so so thankful that God uses even the most obscure situations to teach us, to shape us, to transform us, and to love us into trusting Him more and more.   

God is so good.  He really does deserve so much praise- so thank you Lord for loving me, for saving me, and for my sweet sweet kitty!

Praying that wherever you’re at, whether you’ve got a crazy situation on your hands or you’re resting peacefully in the goodness that God has given you, that you can give him more and more of your Trust.  He’s so good- He deserves it. 

Xo