I am a Wisconsin girl, born and raised.  I am used to the long winters.  I love snow and all its beauty.  But this winter has been BRUTAL.  We haven't seen the grass since the end of November.  There are gigantic ice chunks that have made their home on our roof (uh oh).  And this is the first time in years, that teachers have had 4 days off due to cold!!  Yikes.  I'm looking forward to the days where I can plan my outfits based on something other than, "Is this sweater thick enough to keep me warm?" or "Should I wear one pair of socks or two?"  Needless to say, I am so ready for this winter to be over.

Although this winter has been rough, there's one thing that has made it much more tolerable.  Usually, I remember winter being cold, snowy, and dreary.  You go to work in the dark, drive home in the dark, and if you're lucky maybe you'll catch a slight glimpse of sunlight through the window at lunchtime.  I mean shoot, that's why so many people struggle in the winter and deal with winter depression (Seasonal Affective Disorder).  It's terrible!  But this winter, although we've had more than our share of snow and freezing temperatures, it has been soo sunny!!!

When I started noticing that the sun was making more appearances, I noticed something interesting.  Every day that the temperatures dipped into the negative digits, the freezing cold was accompanied by the clearest of skies and the brightest sun.  We had a few days in the -20s, and from what I remember, each day the sun was bright and shining!  And the pattern has continued.  Today marks another day in this freezing winter with temperatures in the teens, and the sun is shining so beautifully through my window.  This has been so encouraging.  It warms my heart, my feet (!!), and not to mention my kitty is pretty happy, curled up, napping in the sunshine.  I can't help but praise the Lord for this because it feels like this is God's way of protecting and providing for us in the deep freeze.  Can you imagine how much colder these days would feel if the sun was not out?  It makes such a difference!

As I get ready to bundle up and venture out into the cold, I am choosing to put aside my frustrations with this winter and the eight pairs of socks I am going to want to put on, and instead be oh so thankful for the way that God provides.  I am so thankful for the sun today and the reminder it gives me to praise the Lord for the small ways that He cares for us, like sun in the deep freeze.

Today I was listening to the local Christian radio and an ad came on that made me kind-of angry.  The K-love announcer was talking about smart phones; about how we are always pulling them out in dull moments like when you are waiting in the doctors office, for someone to meet you, or, in her example, in the line to pick kids up from school.  I nodded along with the ad thinking yup, that's me unfortunately.  But the next part really surprised me.  I cannot remember word for word what she said but it was something along the lines of this… "What should we do when we go to pull that phone out?  We have the answer for you.  Download the K-love app where you can connect with other Christians!"

I'm sorry, but what?!?  I think I even said that out loud to myself because that was SO not what I was expecting her to follow up with.  Being a Christian radio station I expected something more.  Instead of encouraging us to pull our phones out, to download yet another app on our iPhone, and spend even more time with our noses in technology, shouldn't we be challenged to put the phone down?!  Shouldn't we be encouraged to take those moments when we are sitting idle and waiting for the next appointment on our agenda to just sit and maybe look at the beautiful world right in front of our eyes?  Shouldn't we be challenged to spend those moments talking to the One who created us, to listen for Him, and to appreciate what He's given us in this real world beyond the little screen?  All the apps, the blogs, the games, sure, they have their place- but nothing should take the place of spending quality time with Him.  THAT is what I was expecting to hear from the K-love ad.  THAT is what I want to be reminded of.  THAT is what I need to be encouraged in.

Maybe you aren't in the same place as me.  Maybe you already do a good job of putting your phone down.  [If that's you, then Bravo!! I admire you!]  This is very much something I need to work on.  I have been terrible with wasting time on my phone lately.  TERRIBLE.  I'll pick up my phone, open my email, look at new ones, close that.   Open Instagram, scroll through, "like" a few photos, close that.  Open Facebook, scroll through the newsfeed, read any messages or notifications, close that.  Then I'll be like, "Mindy that's enough" click out of the apps, put down the phone, and then 2 minutes later I'm back looking at Facebook or Instagram for no reason.  Why?  Seriously. Why?  What am I possibly going to learn by checking my apps so frequently? And most importantly, how much am I going to learn about the Lord who loves me when my eyes are glued to my screen?

Less than a month ago, I shared about how putting my phone down over the holidays was such a blessing, about how it helped me in my pursuit to live out the Jim Elliot quote that says "Wherever you are, be all there."  It was so great being fully engaged in my surroundings and feeling more connected to the Lord; I was so proud!  Well… apparently I've had a relapse and slid back into the lame habit of filling way too many free minutes with my phone in my hand.  I guess I should have added this to my February To-Do list because I really need to work on this.  Maybe that means putting limits on how many times I can access an app a day?  Or taking full days off from using apps? Or having an analog weekend like some other bloggers I know?  I don't know, but it's time to get more disciplined.  There are lots of books to be read, sights to be seen (like the beautiful snow scene from snowshoeing with my family- image above), people to be appreciated, and a God who deserves to be worshipped- all of which do not require the iPhone.

Coming off the holidays (how long am I allowed to use that excuse?) I am still having a hard time getting back into a schedule and finding the motivation and discipline to pursue the goals and dreams that I have for myself. This is somewhat of an uncomfortable place for me because I consider myself to be a dedicated person- someone who gets an idea and goes for it, who doesn't sit idle and someone who dominates a to-do list. In the month of November, I felt like that was a pretty good description of me. At the beginning of the month, I linked up with another blogger and shared my to-do list for the upcoming month. One of my to-dos was to be consistent in my attendance at the gym. More specifically, to go to a Body Pump weight lifting class once a week throughout the month.

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Want to read more?  Head on over to Circle of Friends to read the full post.   

A couple months ago, I linked up with Hayley Morgan over at Tiny Twig, who challenged us to join her in making goals for the month of November.  I decided to call mine a "to-do list" instead of goals because it makes me feel like my list is more attainable and less optional.  This gave me a greater push to stick to it, and work towards getting them done.

I cannot believe that November came and went so quickly, and here I am at the beginning of February, and I have yet to share how my November to-do list went! (yikes!) So here's a quick update:

•               get a lil Christmas shopping done [buy at least 3 gifts]
•               CELEBRATE 2 YEARS WITH MY HUBBY
•               read A Million Little Things
•               go to Body Pump once a week
•               hang some pictures on the walls
•               write November goals post
•               go to Puerto Rico!!!

I am proud that other than reading A Million Little Things, (which I won as a giveaway from the lovely Heidi) I pretty much dominated my to-do list.  Going to Puerto Rico, and celebrating 2 years with my hubby by having a little staycation in Milwaukee were definitely two highlights of the month.  But I was also pretty excited about getting some pictures hung on the wall finally (check out my Instagram to see a pic of the gallery wall I put together).

Last time I made a to-do list, I made a point to not just include things that I wanted to get done, but to celebrate special moments and choose to make joyful activities a part of my monthly goals.  This is something that I'd like to continue in the month of February (and every other, for that matter).  With that said, here's what I've got lined up for this month:

•               find an area rug for the living room

•               rid Finn of his itchy mites (I hope I hope)

•               do something FUN!!!!!

•               celebrate my hubby - plan a date

•               read The Fault in Our Stars

•               work out weekly (at least once a week in addition to volleyball)

•               get into a daily rhythm of reading the Bible

I am really looking forward to the encouragement and accountability that linking up with Hayley and all the other ladies brings.  Can't wait to cross these items off my list and make this February a memorable one.

xoxo

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Kitten update: Last week I shared about my sweet kitten, Finn- and how he's dealing with quite a bit of health issues.  I am happy to say that at the moment he's doing well. Still dealing with the mites, making many trips to the vet to get his lime sulfur baths- and finished his cold medicine.  But so far, no fatal disease- praise the Lord.  Besides the itches, he acts like any other kitty running around like crazy and chasing his toys.  He is such a trooper.  I am really looking forward to the day we are done with all this and hopefully he will just be a happy and healthy kitten.   

I'd like to introduce you to this little sweetness, the newest member of our family, Finn.  He has been a part of my life for just under 2 weeks now and he's already taken a little chunk of my heart.  I love how he follows me around the house, meows when he wants to be held, and the way his limbs go limp when he falls asleep on my lap. Watching him skid across the wood floor in the living room as he runs, jumps, and attacks his little toy mouse is so entertaining and brings many laughs and joy to my day.

When I went to the Humane Society, met this new little guy and felt the tug to take him home, I knew I'd love him, but I did not anticipate that I would grapple with a fear for his life and a call on my heart to entrust him to the Lord.

After adopting Finn and taking him to the vet- we discovered that he is not as healthy as we'd hoped.  He has some typical cat struggles like worms and an itchy annoyance of mites, both of which can be taken care of fairly easily.  Not a huge deal.  But in the process of dealing with these things, we realized there was more going on.  Concerned about his breathing rate being high, we went back to the vet to find out that not only does he have fluid in his lungs, but that a fatal disease might be the cause.  Cue anxious kitty mother.  Anxiety has been a struggle of mine off and on for years, but this was a new experience.  I felt like a new mom finding out that her sick baby might not pull through!  I know that sounds dramatic, but being responsible for his life, that's kinda what it feels like!

As I've grappled with this concern, had a few tears (yikes) and asked the Lord why He would give us this sweetness if He was just going to take it away in a few weeks, I've felt the pull on my heart to entrust Finn to the Lord.   At first this idea seemed a little weird to me as I thought, well he's not a child…he's just a kitty.  I found myself wondering whether the Lord really cared about my request as I prayed for Finn's health.  After all, I know He has much bigger concerns on His plate. But as I kept praying, I kept feeling that He does care and that He wanted me to entrust Finn to Him.  Thinking about this, I was reminded of the following verses.

In Matthew 6 Jesus teaches about the topic of not worrying- one that I must frequent often with my anxious tendencies.  In verse 26 he says, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them." And then He goes on to say in verse 28, "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin."  Re-reading these verses, I found a new comfort in them as I recognized our loving Father doesn't just care for us, but he provides and cares for every part of his creation!

God created this sweet little kitty, and has entrusted him into my care.  While he is with me, I am responsible for giving him a good home, loving him, training him to be a good kitty, feeding him and doing my part in keeping him healthy.  But beyond that, it is out of my control.  Beyond that, I must entrust him into the Lord's loving care and know that He knows what is best for his creation.  (What a good lesson to learn before having kids! ha)

As I sit here and type, and count Finn's breaths as he naps hoping that his breathing continues to improve, this call to entrust him to the Lord is not an easy one.  I wish there was something tangible that I could do to ensure that he would get through this.  But for now, I'm going to love him like crazy, keep giving him his medicine and pray that the Lord, who cares for my little fur ball of joy, would heal him.

Who knew I'd learn so much through a little kitty?!  The Lord sure does work in mysterious ways.

xoxo.  meow.

One day in early December, an image similar to this one popped up across my Instagram feed from Free People.  Coming across this image, and also seeing several bloggers I follow use this same idea of being full present in our lives with the hashtag #presentDecember, I was challenged to make an adjustment in my life.  Going to Puerto Rico, and spending time with the family over Christmas, I tried really hard to put down the iPhone as much as possible and avoid it's crazy draw to be on social media, and instead focused on being fully present in each moment.  And let me tell you… it was so worth it.  

I thoroughly enjoyed leaving my phone in the other room as I celebrated Christmas with my in-laws, and fighting the urge to check Instagram while playing games and sharing a meal with my family.  It was like embracing a new kind of freedom!  Isn't that nuts?  It took away the distractions keeping me from fully embracing the special moments that I shared with my loved ones.  I am so glad that I made this effort, especially this Christmas, because it was a particularly difficult one, being the first Christmas without my grandpa.  

Losing my grandpa this past September, we all knew that the holiday season would feel weird and sad without him.  Being prepared for this, we made a special effort to spend lots of quality time with each other.  We went to movies, we played games, we shared meals, and had lots and lots of laughs together.  It was SO so great, and a beautiful and tender way to bring healing to our grieving hearts and fill them with joy and laughter.  Experiencing this time with my family, and the benefits of being fully present in each moment, it makes me sad and frustrated to realize how consuming Facebook, Instagram, and sometimes even blogging, can be.  

I am a firm, and hardcore believer in finding balance in life, in knowing when to take a break, relax and just be.  But what I apparently didn't realize was, even if I was taking the time to just sit on my couch and watch a movie or something, very often I was without even thinking, pushing that darn "F" icon on my iPhone to see what the rest of the world was up to.  After taking somewhat of a break and dialing back on the frequency of my social media checking, I've discovered what a blessing it is to give it a rest.  

With that said, this is something I want to work on. 

As far as blogging goes… I fully intend on returning wholeheartedly to my little online space.  God has put blogging on my heart for a reason, and I believe there is great value in living life together with our fellow bloggers and readers, encouraging one another across the web.   But, I also want to grow in my understanding of what balance and rest and being full present looks like in my life.  If that means that I have to take a break from blogging and risk losing my readership because I haven't blogged in over a month (forgive me for doing this!), I hope that you'll bear with me and understand that I have to keep it real and first and foremost, be present in the life that exists outside of the internet.  

I am happy to have made my return, and am really looking forward to growing with you throughout this new year.  Thank you SO much for sticking with me through the ebb and flow that is my blog. 

xoxo 

|| Image above from: Printabledecor.net ||

 

Oh man, I must be honest- keeping my joyful, care-free vacation mindset this week, has been a little bit of a challenge…

I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. I love the lights, the cozy fireplaces, the decorations, the nostalgic Christmas tunes, the time spent with loved ones, the snow that makes it feel even more festive and most importantly the celebration of the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. But I hate the way that during this season the focus can change ever so quickly to frustration and crankiness that is driven by the pressure to get everything done on time, get the decorations up so the house looks just like the Pottery Barn catalog (I wish), and get everyone the perfect gift(s).

The other day, I woke up very ambitious to check a handful of items off my list. I was looking forward to my little plan to finish in a few hours, go home to put up the rest of the decorations, and finish the evening with a glass of wine in hand as I put my feet up under a cozy blanket in attempts of ridding myself of a nasty cold. Let me just say, the day did not go as planned. The 3 stops I planned turned into 6, (not including the 3 trips I made into the same exact store) the "simple" items on my list were nowhere to be found, and my “convenient” order on Amazon turned into a hustle to cancel it in time as I found out it had already been purchased. What I had hoped to be a joy-filled time of gift buying ended with a rapid heart rate and a beer with lunch as I took deep breaths and worked on chilling out because I was just SO FRUSTRATED.

The thing that made me upset was not just the lack of accomplishment, but the fact that my joy was squashed- and I let it own me all day long.  I was so excited about getting caught up in the joy of the season and SPLAT everything went awry and my happiness went out the window.

What really gets me is, I think this is exactly what the evil one would want out of us during the holiday season, (or anytime for that matter). He doesn’t want us to be joyful, to be filled with excitement about spending time with our loved ones and to have time to sit and think about the real reason for the season- the birth of Jesus! He wants us to dwell in that frustration and to let it continue to put a kabosh on the joy that we have been given through Christ.

I don’t want to let this happen!! I’m not giving up on my pursuit of finding freedom and joy in the midst of the crazy! I mean shoot- the Christmas song is Joy to the World is it not? ;) If things go awry with my Christmas shopping, or I can’t get rid of this cold for days (please no) or whatever else pushes my buttons… I want to try really hard to keep the cranks from taking over.  I want joy to be my overwhelming mood, preferably always (hah), but especially during this special season where we celebrate the gift of Jesus.

Wish me luck… ;)  xoxo