Friendships in your 20's

Friday, May 16, 2014

Growing up, I’ve realized that friendships in your 20’s are hard. Everything seems to change in your relationships because people are moving across the country, getting married, figuring out who they are and who they want to be, having babies, getting established in a career, and all the other joys of getting older. All of these things are great, don’t get me wrong, but all of this contributes to a new place in life where friendships seem to be a lot more difficult to maintain.

I miss the easiness of friendship in college and high school, when it was all about fun and games, when you saw each other every day, and building friendships and spending time together was really a huge focus in our lives. I understand that things change, and that friendships won’t always look the same, but I have to be honest- this has been a really, really difficult realization for me to grasp lately.

I highly value my relationships and have always been a huge fan of having heart to hearts, intentional hang time, being vulnerable, and really just living life with one another through the nitty gritty as well as the fun. Not having as much of this in my life lately, I’m really craving depth and intentionality in my relationships, and missing the times that it came so naturally.

God created us to live in community, to need each other, to support each other, to encourage one another and build each other up. I’m so thankful for that reminder because it encourages me that my desires for deep friendships are not me being crazy or selfish or something, it’s just how God created me to be.

Struggling with this void, I’ve learned that you can’t force things, and you can’t make relationships fill a hole that the other person might not even know is there. I’ve shed a few tears here and there, but I don’t want to wallow in this sadness. I want to try to adjust and figure out what the Lord might be teaching me in this time. I’ve been blessed with some amazing friendships, I am so thankful! I just now need to focus less on what is missing and more on making the most of every relationship I have in front of me.

Romans 14:19 has been an encouragement to me in this time as it says, “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and mutual edification.” This section of Romans talks about how we are to treat our brothers and sisters in Christ, how we are to accept one another, just as Christ accepts us.  I know it might sound slightly unrelated, but it has really helped me change my focus.  Instead of trying to fix what's missing or force my relationships to be what I need all the time, I'm trying to make every effort to bring peace into them.  The way I see it is, I have two choices-  to be frustrated and sad, or make every effort to make the most of them. That’s what I’d like to be my goal as I navigate this new territory, to seek the Lord and make every effort to do what leads to peace and mutual edification in my relationships.

Praying that you, too, might be encouraged with any struggle you're dealing with.  You are not alone.  Sending love your way!  xoxo

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